The Sadness of the Spin Doctors

Let me say this:
I am a huge fan of what might be called "hippie" music. I'm also a supporter of what the Bill O'Reilly's of the world might call "hippie values". Heck, I even consider myself to be about 23% hippie.
But, there's something about these prancing clowns that makes me want to punch the stupid grins off their ill-bearded faces. They are the embodiment of the whole look-at-me-I'm-alternative, trust-fund having, smirky fake counter-culture that turned off Middle America in the late 90's and gave rise to such disgusting scumbag monsters of history as George Bush, Dick Cheney and Ann Coulter. So, despite being upbeat, harmless and not-entirely crappy, they helped launch a great evil on this country. This is the Sadness of the Spin Doctors.

I actually saw them live once. I ended up buying one of their concert shirts - as was the custom of the time. When I wore this shirt to the summer camp where I worked, one of the little kids mocked me by calling me "Spinny". This insult has haunted me to this day.

Where I dislike this video, mostly because it's a blatant rip-off of Eddie Murphy's Coming to America, I have a soft spot for Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. Why? Well it's because I have an inexplicable secret crush on the "Little Miss". There's something about her bossy paintbrush-waving nagging dance that drives me wild.

Dio - Holy Diver

I chose this video for my first post primarily because my fantasy football team is named "The Holy Divers" and I subconsciously think that writing about the song will help them win this week. But also because it displays just the right combo of 80's cheeziness, Reagen-Era nihilism and an almost exquisite lack of meaning.
I never played D&D back in the day, but this what I picture things being like...I mean if your special Dungeon Master imagination became real. Also, for some reason, I imagine this being in the same universe as the Safety Dance video, but without the merry dancing village-folk who may or may not be wearing rooster masks.

Some questions to ask yourself while watching:
1) Why does RJD kill that poor mutant guy? He seemed pretty laid back as far as mutants go. Wow, what a jerk.
2) Was the ruined church destroyed specifically for this video? I say yes.
3) Can the black cardboard cut-out devil be any more crappy? It's of 3rd-grade art class quality.
4) What the hell is this song about? Jacques Cousteau? A born-again Aquaman? The canonization of Greg Louganis?
5) And what could a lyric like: "Ride the tiger, You can see his stripes but you know he's clean" possibly mean? Is this prophecizing the rise of Tiger Woods?